Infected with fear

Is this office smaller then most?
Why are all these kids smiling?
I think im having a heart attack!
The thoughts in my head are so loud that Im convinced that the bratty looking kid with a hole where his two front teeth should be, can hear them, as he whispers to his mother and both begin to giggle.
I would take a walk with a clown down a deserted road in a trade off for this sickening anticipation. Kids, normally my tranquility, today my nemesis, as I would give my first born for an ounce of their oblivion world.
fear does not even do justice to how I feel about dentists, but I have put this off for far too long and I am embarking down a road that I have avoided for many years. If the picture wasn't a give away then I will just tell you. Im getting braces! Yip that's right, as if I didn't hand you people over enough things to make fun of me for, I now have to pile my mouth full of metal!
This Blog of mine is a plea! This fear is not little and it grows more as the day nears that the dentist straps me in. Tell me we are past Junior high and that braces are now "cool" or hey at least lie to me! I not doing this for you, only me..If you have lived with me or seem to notice my complete avoidance of any Pictures, then you know that this has been an obsession of mine for many years, however what I do need is support. When it comes to braces my fear exceeds the actually procedure and into the everyday as I fear this new accessory will be the only focus of my personality. So dear friends who love me so...Tell me you will still love me when I don't love my mouth..And of course that the dentist is not going to kill me in his office! Bah...Wish me luck!

A puppet on a string?

To anyone who may know me, I mean aside from online bantering or passing pleasantries as music drowns out our voices or flashy lights our vision, to my true friends you know that i'm an easy person to get along with. I will do just about anything and everything as long as it pleases you in some way, shape, or form. Today however the real world slapped me in the face and I realized that my altruistic behavior is not appreciated in the way I had once believed but rather its being abused and I have been stained with my co workers footprints.
in previous posts I have wrote of my passion for my work. In recent weeks I have been rewarded for this passion, a reward that has not sat well with some..
For the first time In 5 years I figured I must be doing something right and I felt good. This euphoria left me with a crazy feeling of taking initiative and actually branching out from the norm and trying something on my own, a penalty I was soon fined for. Ok I realize right now your confused as my anecdote is blurry. Let me get to the moral of this unfinished story....
To be honest and considerate...Is to be used and manipulated
To succeed is to be ruthless
I guess I have failed

sorry hard day....